well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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