Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
honey bunches of taint.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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