I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
