Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i think im in europe. pls send help
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
