Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
