so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
