And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
