Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
