You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
