I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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