You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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