suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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