I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
...so i touched it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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