my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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