so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
