and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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