3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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