my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
