Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.

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  (253): Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life. http://tfl.nu/h3s9
  Replies (33) Good night (4892) Bad night (1248)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.

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  (917): Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed. http://tfl.nu/8c7h
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (2869)
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  (646): View more from New York

  the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.

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  (646): the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us. http://tfl.nu/x7fp
  Replies (13) Good night (5884) Bad night (616)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.

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  (802): clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven. http://tfl.nu/4bru
  Replies (7) Good night (760) Bad night (2711)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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  (228): I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference! http://tfl.nu/5ptk
  Replies (50) Good night (10508) Bad night (930)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  gotta love wednesdays

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  (309): In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st. (217): gotta love wednesdays http://tfl.nu/3grc
  Replies (21) Good night (4118) Bad night (1002)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.

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  (608): Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week. http://tfl.nu/ckos
  Replies (8) Good night (3417) Bad night (1021)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.

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  (706): I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant. http://tfl.nu/0cvw
  Replies (50) Good night (5629) Bad night (1545)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night

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  (630): I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night http://tfl.nu/4uc3
  Replies (8) Good night (1268) Bad night (621)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.

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  (847): He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited. http://tfl.nu/2tlf
  Replies (20) Good night (6800) Bad night (824)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte

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  (845): I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte http://tfl.nu/yyhp
  Replies (3) Good night (1175) Bad night (594)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.

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  (720): Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego. http://tfl.nu/dgdq
  Replies (2) Good night (1320) Bad night (474)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?

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  (313): Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing? http://tfl.nu/tcaq
  Replies (4) Good night (689) Bad night (611)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.

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  (860): Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers. http://tfl.nu/ep00
  Replies (7) Good night (393) Bad night (960)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.

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  (573): Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them. http://tfl.nu/c182
  Replies (8) Good night (844) Bad night (338)

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