Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty