it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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