one two three fourrrrnication!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid