you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
