He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
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Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
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If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
