Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(810): View more from Michigan

When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

that probably didn't help your case.

Fav 14 1905 958
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book

Fav 18 1770 7022
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off

Fav 39 7208 2474
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"

Fav 31 1403 5117
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(651): View more from Minnesota

they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.

Fav 7 5340 1239
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"

Fav 9 3731 1686
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.

Fav 34 15024 1909
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(273): View more from

Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure

Fav 2 528 308
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.

Fav 0 31 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT