My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?