yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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