I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Four minutes until I can fart!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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