Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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