You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
