so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
