It's Friday. Sex?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
