my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
