rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
