I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
