I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
