You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
