Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
