I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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