over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
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I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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