I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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