Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
