I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
