the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
