I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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