let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We were destined to go to rehab together
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
