Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
