I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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