I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
