we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
