I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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