it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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