separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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