I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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