I'm gonna have a badass scar
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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