mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
