He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
