Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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