he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize