You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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