the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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