I just made out with a guy for $7.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
