Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
