look no pants
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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