And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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