Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
