even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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