Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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