I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
