32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
