Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
