He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
